


Testosterone and Hormones

by cbeverly, Merelatio



Category: Dance with Devils (Anime)
Genre: And in denial, Angst and Humor, Crack, M/M, They're thirsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 17:24:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5506406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cbeverly/pseuds/cbeverly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merelatio/pseuds/Merelatio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I won't allow you to do this, you devil! Stay away from her or else!"<br/><br/>Rem and Lindo were currently staring each other down.<br/>The sparks flying between them were almost tangible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Testosterone and Hormones

**Author's Note:**

> We love this show so we couldn't help but rp it. This was finished back in October but we're posting it now to ~~cry~~ celebrate this anime ending. Where is season 2. That ending was such a cliff-hanger. Season 2 is needed.

* * *

 

"I won't allow you to do this, you devil! Stay _away_ from her or _else!_ "

Rem and Lindo were currently staring each other down.

The sparks flying between them were almost tangible.

It was _intense_. Well, more than intense. There was a certain _spark_ between them that neither could deny.

"She's _my_ Ritsuka and I'm her onii-chan!!!"

Damn this devil who thought he could do whatever he pleased just because he wasn't a human!

"I will protect Ritsuka no matter the cost to myself! You are _never_ touching her again!"

 _Not when you could be touching_ me _instead._

But he wouldn't voice that out loud! No! Never even once in a millennia! He had to be steadfast and cool! To protect his precious Ritsuka from this monster!

"If I ever even see you touch her, I won't hesitate to end you!!!"

 

 

Rem stared Lindo down with just the same intensity that was being aimed at him.

But Rem was doing it quietly, while Lindo obviously had a slightly hotter temperament.

 _Hotter_ only meant in terms of personality, of course!

There was no way Rem could find an exorcist, a threat to his very existence, attractive. Of course not.

The sparks flying between them were only ones of rivalry and natrual hated between enemies... an exorcist and a devil.

Their eyes were expressing contempt and rivalry.

"I can help her find her mother," Rem said in a monotone, boring tone of voice with an expressionless face that failed to match the intensity he felt inside.

"I will also protect that girl," Rem said, crossing his arms acros his chest. "And with my strength and endless resources, she's safer with _me_."

He stared at this human, wondering why he was so angry. If Lindo wanted a physical fight, he'd lose in an instant.

But if he brought out his holy water and other exorcist tools...

Well, Rem himself would be in very deep troubles.

Logically, he'd be better off avoiding someone who could make him disappear.

But he didn't.

And he still had to think about what's best for Ritsuka. He made a promise, after all.

"I'd like to see you try."

 

 

"Oh, you would, wouldn't you?!" Lindo shouted, gritting his teeth. "Well, that can certainly be arranged!"

Taking out his arsenal of anti-demon and vampire weapons, Lindo was more than ready to take Rem on.

Take him on in the sense of exorcising this demon, not any other meaning. Definitely not.

Lindo most certainly did _not_ want this accursed devil to protect _him_ and keep _him_ safe. No. Never in a millennia!

"You think you can help Ritsuka?! Well, _I'm_ the one who has been there for her ever since we were children! You could _never_ take my place in her heart!"

This was most definitely a taboo and he was never supposed to have fallen in love with his younger sister but love couldn't be helped!

"Ah, when I think about how she texted me and sent me pictures of her paintings every day... my Ritsuka _loves_ me and only me!"

And Lindo loved his sister to such an extent that he had no consideration for his own life if it meant giving it up to protect hers.

He was the epitome of devotion and he would never -- even if he was dead -- _ever_ let anyone else touch his precious and important Ritsuka.

 

 

When Lindo made all of his equipment appear, Rem took an instinctive step back and crouched down into a defensive pose.

Oh, he wished it wouldn't have to have come to this... if only they could have stood there staring angrily into each other's eyes for a bit longer...

Ah, no. He didn't mean anything strange by that!

Who would want to keep staring into their enemies' eyes, especially an enemy that wanted to kill them? That would be very weird.

Rem continued to stare at Rem with an expressionless face that betrayed none of what he was thinking as he waited for his enemy's first move against him.

"......." was Rem at Lindo's next exclamation. "......."

But he shifted a bit in his position.

"Who's talking about _replacement?_ The fact is I _can_ help her much more than you can. No matter what your profession might be."

Although, he wouldn't mind if Ritsuka fell in love with him, and stayed far away from Lindo, who seemed to have certain strange tendencies towards her... it wouldn't be good if Lindo had deeper feelings for her.

And that was just for Ritsuka's sake, of course.

It would be bad for _Ritsuka_ if Lindo was in love her.

So Rem might have to protect her from her own brother, too.

"............" Rem stared at Lindo after his words on Ritsuka's paintings.

He did understand the quality of a good piece of artwork, but something was amiss here.

"Are you going to fight me or not?" Rem asked boringly, as if he were bored.

But he wasn't bored -- he was secretly excited deep in his heart.

 

 

Oh, they were going to fight, all right.

Fight with their fists and weapons and such, not in any _other_ way. Of course not!

"Are you sure you'll still be standing by the time I'm done with you?!" Lindo questioned, snapping at Rem.

Oh, but even if he was up against a devil, he had become an exorcist for the sole purpose of protecting Ritsuka.

And Lindo's deep love for his precious younger sister would give him all the necessary strength in order to overcome this evil and win! His love made him strong and for Ritsuka, he would endure the weight of the entire world.

_Oh, Ritsuka, lend me your strength._

Without waiting any longer, Lindo made the first move and struck Rem with a spell, incapacitating him for the moment.

Grinning in satisfaction, Lindo could just see that devil's usual boring expression twist slightly into frustration.

"Ritsuka means more to me than anyone or anything else and _I_ will be the one to protect that beautiful smile of hers."

 

 

He was still waiting for Lindo to make the first move.

Despite the fact that he didn't want to be exorcised, he was still feeling excited for the upcoming duel.

Now, Rem... safe, quiet, unexpressive Rem who had always lived in secret amogst humans with his companions... always secretly longed for an excitement such as this.

A face off with a worthwhile rival, who could challenge him and light a fire in his heart. Wait, no. Heart wasn't right. It was more like... his... spirit. Yeah.

"Are you sure _you'll_ be?" Rem replied, voice level as his eyes followed Lindo's every move and every body part. Just so he would know right away when he'd launch an attack. Yeah.

"I won't let you win so easily."

But as he spoke those words, Lindo attacked first and muttered a spell, causing Rem to become frozen, unable to move a single muscle.

Rem allowed his usual unexpressive face to twist into a slight scowl. How had that happened so easily? Rem should be better than this.

"Ritsuka will be protected by _me!_ " he said, closing his eyes and concentrating.

And then a surge of power burst through him, and he was free.

"Not by you! Leave your disturbing feelings for her behind!" he said.

_And look at other people instead!_

_What?_

Another scowl, this time more at himself for being weak, Rem charged at Lindo with a raised fist.

 

 

But Lindo easily blocked the fist. He had been trained in more than just spells against devils; he had learned how to protect himself so that ultimately, he could protect Ritsuka.

And _he_ would be the one to protect his younger sister. Not Rem. Not this stuck-up devil who thought he was cool with that unflinching nonchalant look of his.

Well. _Lindo_ had been the one to erase that snobby pretty rich boy expression off his face.

_Pretty?_

Anyway, he had a fight to win and thinking about other things and getting distracted weren't what he should focus on.

Lindo didn't need Rem when he had Ritsuka, after all.

But that statement had been the last straw.

"My feelings for Ritsuka are those of pure love!" Lindo shouted, throwing a punch back.

Oh, but they were going to fight like men now.

"What would you know?! You don't know all I've been through and all I've endured to be with her! I love her and therefore, _I_ will be the one to protect her!"

 

 

His first attempt was blocked, but of course Rem didn't give up so easily. He'd go at Lindo again, and again if he must.

It wasn't too often he was given the opportunity to have a fair fight with someone.

His raging testosterone came to the forefront as he took another failed swipe at the red-haired beauty.

_What?_

No, red-haired _enemy_.

Those hormones... wait, did devils even _have_ hormones? Maybe they did.

Rem easily avoided Lindo's punch, and took a step back, dashing to the side in order to survey Lindo's body positioning again.

A weakness is what he wanted... Lindo's weakness... to exploit... to win the fight.

So Rem could be the one to protect Ritsuka... and steal her away...

"I can protect her better!" Rem said, his boring voice becoming slightly _less_ boring and more fiery.

"I don't care what you've been through - or anything about love - it's about logic and who can protect her best - and it's me!"

Rem took another run at Lindo, this time running behind him and diving for his feet in an attempt to knock him off balance.

 

 

Huh. It seemed that Lindo had just managed yet _another_ reaction from that pretty, snobby rich boy.

"What's wrong?" he inquired, jumping away before his feet could be knocked out from under him. "Am I making you _excited?_ "

But while Lindo had been much too occupied with the sudden change albeit slight in Rem's annoyingly boring yet most definitely not _enticing_ tone, it seemed he had been distracted and found himself falling.

Turquoise eyes widening in surprise, he managed to grab onto the insufferable devil in his fall...

...Only to find himself with those _mesmerizing_ green eyes looming over him.

Oh. Well. This was unexpected.

But certainly not as disturbing as Lindo had thought it would be.

On the contrary, his adrenaline had just kicked up several notches and he feared that soon, the devil would see the _excitement_ in his own eyes and notice it in his voice.

"You'll never have Ritsuka."

_Not when you could be having me._

 

 

Lindo's words played through Rem's head repeatedly.

_"Am I making you excited?"_

_"Am I making you excited?"_

_"Am I making you excited?"_

_"Am I making you excited?"_

And it made his boring, usually calm self _angry_.

"Just what are you accusing me of, exorcist?!"

Even though it had been true....

And somehow that moment of anger caused his dive at Lindo's legs to miss only slightly.

As Lindo fell, his hands grabbed Rem's body somehow, and no he did not secretly like that one bit!

And _no_ he did not like the subsequent closeness they were in as they stared at each other with even more intense, glistening gazes from a very much shorter viewpoint.

The angry gazes.

Of rage and rivalry.

Of testosterone from their manly fight.

No other reason. No other feelings there at all, none!

Any other physical reactions could be explained by his extraordinary devil hormones.

He should see if there's any information about that in his library...

As he stared into Lindo's eyes, he noticed a slight... twinkle?

Did he imagine it?

Was Lindo playing with him, or was he having as much fun as boring Rem secretly was?

But even so... there was a matter they were discussing.

"I don't _want_ Ritsuka!" he said, voice firm as he blurted out those words. But then he realized what he said.

"That is... it's not about wanting her. It's about wanting to protect her from the enemies and helping her find her mother."

He explained this calmly with his usual calm, boring face, despite the unexplainable turmoil he was feeling inside.

 

 

"I'm only accusing you of making you _excited,_ which I _see_ that I am."

Lindo smirked triumphantly at Rem.

Rem with his pretty-boy blonde locks and his equally as mesmerizing green eyes...

If only this accursed devil's expression wasn't always so completely and utterly _boring_.

But Lindo had managed to get an expression of frustration out of Rem as well as that boring tone of voice to change into a tone that was quite interesting to say the least.

And Rem was _obviously_ so lost in Lindo.

The way the devil looked at him and the way their eyes gazed into each other's souls...

Eyes filled with rage and rivalry.

And hatred.

Absolutely. Couldn't forget about that one. Definitely not.

Their manly fight hadn't been as manly as Lindo anticipated however.

He was feeling slightly disappointed and he didn't even quite understand why that was.

If Rem thought he would be able to defeat Lindo while the devil was only staring at him as if he was the most beautiful person on the planet, this devil would never win.

Not with the physical reactions that were currently occurring to the blondie.

This devil thought he was the emperor of the world or whatever. Well. He _wasn't_ and Lindo would be sure to remind this pretty princess that he couldn't and _wouldn't_ ever have Ritsuka.

But apparently Rem _didn't_ want his precious little sister?!

"No one could protect Ritsuka better than I can. _I'm_ her most important person and I will help her find our mother! Not you! Not when you can't even protect yourself!"

With that said, Lindo muttered an incantation that froze Rem.

Then, knocking the devil down with a kick to his stomach, Lindo got Rem up from atop of him before uttering another spell.

"You could never defeat the love I have for Ritsuka."

 

 

"Aren't _you_ the one getting excited, exorcist?" Rem asked, an uncharacteristic smirk forming on his boring face.

And Lindo's own smirk didn't make Rem want to go and wipe it off in some _certain_ way that involved his own face.

No, no, he didn't at all. Who was thinking that kind of thing? Not boring, vanilla Rem, that's for sure!

Rem's gaze stayed glued to Lindo's, definitely able to look away if he wanted to - but he didn't because he didn't want to miss an attack.

That was why.

It wasn't anything about how exciting and thrilling their staring contest was, or what kind of secret feelings they created in Rem's boring heart.

Definitely not.

And the fact that Lindo was his natural enemy didn't make it all the _more_ enticing...

Of course not.

And Rem most certainly did _not_ want to reach forward and run his hands through the blood-coloured red locks of hair that looked soft and fluffy.

Not at all.

Because why would Rem be interested in that?!

He had to focus on the fight, and his objective. To get Lindo to back down and leave Ritsuka into his care for the time being.

Because Rem really could protect her the most.

And there was still the matter of the grimoire he wanted, which Ritsuka would help him obtain...

But nobody needed to know about that.

"Who's closest to Ritsuka makes no difference in finding her mother. If anything, it would be more logical for a third party with no personal investment to work on the case, wouldn't you think?"

Rem didn't know why he was humouring this exorcist, but...

"And I don't know what you're insinuating by the fact that I can't protect myself, but you're dead wrong. Isn't that you, who stopped fighting me? You're scared, aren't you."

And he said all that in his general, boring tone of voice.

But then Lindo's next incantation froze Rem to the spot once more.

He could do nothing but watch Lindo with his eyes, hoping he'd have a chance to escape for Lindo exorcised him and made him disappear.

But instead of exorcising him, Lindo kicked him to the ground. An 'oof' escaped him as he landed.

Lindo then stepped away, speaking once more.

_You could never defeat the love I have for Ritsuka._

But Rem was still able to speak, himself, even though he couldn't move.

Which strangely... sent another wave of _thrilling_ energy through his body.

His devil hormones, again...

"Challenge accepted."

 

 

But Lindo wasn't getting excited anymore. At least not in the way Rem hoped.

Lindo had to fight his enemy so that Rem would _never_ get to Ritsuka!

But he still couldn't stop wondering why Rem was looking at him with an expression that certainly _wasn't_ boring.

Had Lindo actually managed to stir a fire in that boring devil's heart?!

Smirking at the thought, now that Rem couldn't move, Lindo moved over the devil, placing a holding spell over the other so he wouldn't dare to think he was going anywhere anytime soon.

Now that the devil was rendered useless, Lindo smirked above Rem.

Oh, how the tables have changed. Who was on top _now?!_

"Why would I be scared of _you?_ " Lindo asked in his fiery tone, the smirk still present. "When I'm the one who has you cornered?"

Oh, but they were so close that he could just lower himself and wipe away that boring looking expression and turn it into something less boring...

But Lindo wouldn't do that!

Why would he do something like that?!

He loved Ritsuka and _nobody_ else!

But even so, perhaps in order to show that he wasn't as powerless as Rem deemed him to be...

Leaning down over the devil, Lindo wasn't even considering the ramifications of what he was just about to do. He just wanted to wipe away that _annoying_ bored look off the other's Barbie blond, green-eyed devil face.

Those eyes definitely weren't as boring as the rest of Rem.

Lindo smirked upon the second those eyes changed when he pressed a bite right over that pretty pale skin on Rem's neck.

 

 

Rem was still unable to move and he didn't like it. _Or did he?_

No! Not at all. He hated being in this vulnerable, trapped position! Completely!

Damn exorcist with his stupid spells!

He had to somehow overcome this and escape. That would only be the most logical course of action in this situation... right?

His eyes glistened with undercover passion... no, _rage_ as he stared into Lindo's smug gaze. He had to escape...

But why wasn't he trying as hard as he should be?

The exorcist whispered something, placing another spell onto Rem, ensuring his lack of ability to move.

Rem half-heartedly tried to move, but of course the spell kept him firmly in place.

Lindo had him just as he wanted him... or so Rem assumed.

Why wouldn't Lindo bask in his success of capturing and detaining Rem, a powerful devil?

There must be a lot of satisfaction in that, going by how _closely_ he was being smirked at by the attractive red-head.

No, the annoying red-head.

The annoying red-head with an attractive smirk.

_No!_

"Because you haven't seen even half of what I can do," Rem said. "You have me cornered... _for now_."

Rem wasn't about to let Lindo think he won.

He came out on top of the _battle,_ not the war.

But what Lindo did next startled Rem.

He hadn't expected teeth... he didn't expect Lindo's mouth that close to his skin.

It felt exhilarating.

But it had surprised him so much that he let an out of character look of surprise appear on his face.

But he quickly hid it... and any further looks that showed he didn't hate the action as much as he wanted Lindo to believe...

"What are you, an exorcist or a _vampire?!_ " he asked, voice hostile.

 

 

Oh, but that expression was surely something _exciting_.

Unexpectedly, it _thrilled_ Lindo to the bone.

So boring Rem could also make other kinds of expressions?

Lindo would be sure to put this newfound knowledge to good use.

Ah, but boring Rem was such a tsundere. Trying to act so tough as if Lindo hadn't gotten such a response from expressionless Student Council President Rem.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he uttered, smirking to no end at the pretty little red mark now covering the devil's pale skin.

Looming over Rem, Lindo's turquoise eyes shone red.

"Why is your voice so hostile, Rem? Don't tell me you're _afraid_ of an exorcist. It isn't as if I could reduce you to ashes in a matter of seconds..."

Which he most definitely could do. But hadn't done. Yet.

"Now, what do you want with Ritsuka? She doesn't have the grimoire," Lindo stated, smirking as a hand placed itself right over the devil's neck.

"And she knows nothing about it," he continued, adding pressure. "But I, on the other hand, know quite a lot on the topic..."

As he trailed off, Lindo made sure the restraints were still bound tightly as a finger went down Rem's chest, undoing a button in the process.

"Ritsuka isn't the one you devils should be occupying yourselves with."

 

 

Somehow, it angered the usually boring Rem to his core that Lindo hadn't answered his question.

Even though his question had been more of a joke... he hadn't seriously thought that Lindo was a vampire.

But... it would explain some of the allure Rem had... being drawn to him.

Rem had always had some sort of interest in the vampire race... even if it wasn't completely positive interest all the time.

Ah, but that was pretty irrelevant here.

There was no way that Lindo wasn't just joking with his comeback, anyway. He was just trying to rile Rem up.

Well, it wasn't going to work. Rem would easily keep his cool. He wouldn't allow Lindo to see that he was getting to him.

"That was a joke," Rem said, deadpan. "Now unhand me, exorcist!"

But no... he _didn't_ just get lost in Lindo's turquoise eyes.

His turquoise eyes that turned _red_ in a matter of seconds.

Rem was so startled, he couldn't help but show it on his usually boring features.

This exorcist Lindo... with the way his eyes shone... he definitely was... _a vampire._

A shiver went down Rem's back, and he was actually feeling more on edge.

Well. He set his face back to his usual boring, emotionless expression. It did not faze him at all. That's what he told himself.

Rem was boring. He did not get fazed so easily.

"As if I could be afraid of you," Rem said with zero effort. And in the same boring tone. "If you wanted to get rid of me, you easily could have done so by now."

"Ritsuka knows more than you know," Rem said. "Even if she doesn't know that she knows. And I don't want any harm to come to her. Even if you don't trust me, I'm telling the truth."

Rem didn't know why he was being so nice with his words.

It was because he wanted to get out of the potentially dangerous situation. Yeah, that was it.

"So you... the grimoire..." Rem said, eyes narrowing. "I didn't know why I didn't consider you could have it. You're both from the same family."

When Lindo ran a hand down Rem's chest, he carefully didn't show a reaction, despite the not-so-boring thoughts going through his mind.

"Tell me what you know."

 

 


End file.
